Trip to Arizona

    I get up at 4:14am and, by automatic pilot, stumble into the bathroom where I shower and shave. Pushing a sharp blade around my face at 4:23am is not the brightest possible idea but I won't be awake enough to realize that; as it happens, nothing happens. Volumes of hot water get me semi-functional; I dress, eat something, and drag my carry-on and backpack to the car. I consider getting a little more shut-eye on the ride to the airport, but decide it would be ill-advised, since I'm the one driving. I get to the airport at 4:57am, wave to all my adoring fans here to see me off, then turn stride through glass wall right next to the door. Oh, well, it'll be a little more business for the glaziers.
   I've already gone through the online check-in, so all that remains is to march in, remove my shoes, belt, wallet, phone, pen, backpack, laptop, coins, keys, and all other metal except that actually implanted in my body. And then, fatefully, I go through the security gate. At this hour of the morning, I don't consider all the consequences of me passing through a radioactive search-o-tron....